by Shonnie | Jun 21, 2012 | Mindfulness, Parenting Practice
“A happy wedlock is a long falling in love.” ~ Theodore Parker For me this quote could be altered to apply equally to parenting: a happy family life is a long falling in love. Thinking back to time with my newborn daughter I’m reminded of the overflowing emotion, especially a feeling of love, that pervaded our home. I could while away hours simply watching her, smelling her, or stroking her soft skin. Each day with her brought new experiences, discoveries about who she was, what she needed, how she communicated and, of course discoveries about myself as a mother — who I was, what I had to give, how I communicated. As my daughter has grown the discoveries haven’t ended, yet I sometimes forget that each day is still new and our journey together uncharted. As a mama I think one of the greatest gifts I can offer my daughter is to be open to seeing her with new eyes daily, tuning in to who she is in this moment and this experience and seeking to learn what it is she’s asking for from me (and what she’s offering to me as well). Staying in the now It’s so easy to rely on our history with someone and forget to keep paying attention. Though we often say it in words — “They grow up so fast.” — we seem to sometimes act as if who are children are is frozen in time. I want to offer my daughter the space to change and grow, to try on new ways of being, new ideas, new choices. I want to grant...
by Shonnie | Jun 11, 2012 | Common Challenges, Mindfulness, Parenting Practice
“If you shut your door to all errors truth will be shut out.” ~ Rabindranath Tagore Growing up my parents read to me from the Berenstain Bears stories where the papa bear often touted his wisdom whilst in the midst of doing unwise things. It was funny to watch him say “do as I do,” then get into a big mess, and pretend like his own action hadn’t caused his predicament. Papa bear’s model, however, reminds me of one of the things we often do as parents — pretend like or try to present the image that we’re perfect. Our children know we’re not perfect — heck they’re usually are on the receiving end of our greatest moments of imperfection — so acting as if we are doesn’t fool them. And, of course, even if we don’t like to admit it, we know we’re simply human, so we can’t fool ourselves either. “It is very easy to forgive others their mistakes; it takes more grit to forgive them for having witnessed your own.” ~ Jessamyn West Why show your fallibility to your children? I grew up thinking my mom was perfect in some fundamental way. Yes, I knew she yelled at me, was sometimes inattentive, and perhaps a bit too nice, but I carted her around as my role model for how I should be. From this I created an unattainable standard that I was to meet if I was to be loveable and worthy. I’ve spent many of my adult years releasing this impossible demand and still get tripped up by it from time to time. So let’s...
